Being a single dad and dating
Of course my apartment is much cleaner—because I only have to account for me. I recognize I have some control freak tendencies, relationships included.A lot of life is outside our control and dating someone with a child is a very effective reminder that no matter what, we can't always call the shots. As such, I waited until my boyfriend thought it would be OK to introduce me to his kid.Matters are so peachy that she even shared me on a Google Calendar she, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend share re: who has chief parenting duties when (it's half-and-half, really).This kind of amazing camaraderie made me really look at past relationships I'd previously kept duct-taped in a box and tossed the way-back part of the closet.We had a lot of wine and played loud punk and soon it was gleaming. With a child and full-time job and other luxurious duties such as bathing oneself and staying fed (AND keeping the kid fed), cleaning falls to the wayside.Besides not having enough time to clean, kids are just miraculously mess-inducing machines. As such, I try to see this situation as an opportunity to relax my OCD tendencies and work to become a more patient, understanding person.It's a discussion he and I can have, but it's not my endeavor to pilot.It's fun to make fun of Oldsters until you realize you are now one.
I was playing with the kid at a playground near my boyfriend's apartment and when an authority figure from the attached daycare came out to ask if we had permission to be there, I immediately turned to the child. I'm supposed to answer here." I've always been a touch afraid of authority but knew I had to handle the current situation. Conversely, it means you can't let jealousy get to you with exes.And even then, it's not like I leapt from a cake and shouted, "I AM YOUR NEW MOM!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still just a buddy who kicks it from time to time to join in on eating pizza or playing "balloon" or the occasional ride home from school.When and if my boyfriend wants to explain my role in his life to his child, that's not really up to me.When the relationship was brand-spankin' new, a lot of close friends lamented renditions of, "I could never DATE A PARENT." They echoed sentiments of kids being deal breakers. Everyone has a past and brings baggage into a relationship. Although, of course, I find my partner's child a deeply charming, fun, hilarious little human who doesn't qualify as "baggage." You know what I mean.A man willing and thrilled to take on the dad role shows commitment.